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By Tom Sloper
August 3, 2008 Column #375 |
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By Tom Sloper
August 3, 2008 Column #375 |
American Mah-Jongg (2008 NMJL card). When Sophia won the lottery and moved away, Esther, Wesley, and Nora held auditions of a sort to find a new fourth for their weekly game. A certain Ms. South was personable, pleasant, agreeable -- in short, nice. She was a little slow, but then she'd just learned the game. Surely her speed would improve once she became more comfortable with the game.
But nine months went by, and her speed had never improved. Sometimes Ms. South would think at length over the discard of the player at her left before finally picking. Then once she picked from the wall, she'd think extensively before finally deciding on something to discard. Or sometimes she'd be talking, enjoying the group, and would have to be reminded that it was her turn - then the extended thought process would occur anew.
On a few occasions, someone would say something to nudge Ms. South along. Most of the time she'd play the novice card, reminding them that she was new to the game. Of course, that excuse got old as time went on. Other times, she'd get defensive. "All right, all right! Just give me a chance to think!"
Eventually, a member of the group contacted me and asked for advice. "How can we get her to change?" Doctor Laura would tell you that you can't change someone against her will. If she's going to change, it'll have to be from within. You can point out to her the necessity for change, but only she can actually make the change. Here are my suggestions:
No guarantees that any of this will work. Some folks just aren't able to keep up with the rest of us. And don't tell me you can't talk to her about it. If you don't talk to her, she definitely won't change. There's no magic trick. You must talk honestly to her.
If despite everyone's efforts, she simply can't speed up her play, you will have to either accept her as she is, or replace her. There's no good third option.
Want more? For my crude analysis of The Psychology of Slow Players, see column 621.
Click the entries in the header frame, above, to read other columns.
Question or comment about this column? Email 
and the discussion will be posted on the Mah-Jongg Q&A Bulletin Board. Like this...
How do we handle a slow player, part 3
>From: "lindaz...
>Sent: Tuesday, April 26, 2016 5:22 AM
>Subject: How we handle a slow player
>Hi Tom,
>I discovered this method quite by accident when I was taking too long during my turn. Instead of waiting quietly, the other players will start a conversation among themselves which proves distracting to the slow player. She is then aware of taking too much time and usually makes her decision promptly. No hurt feelings!
>Linda
Nice, Linda!
May the tiles be with you.
Tom Sloper
トム·スローパー
湯姆 斯洛珀
Creator of
the Sloper On Mah-Jongg column and
the Mah-Jongg FAQs -- donations appreciated.
Author of "The Red Dragon & The West Wind," the definitive book on Mah-Jongg East & West.
Los Angeles, California, USA
April 26, 2016
Slow Players, part 2 (was: "Stopping the Charleston - and Slow Players," July 28, 2019)
>On Saturday, August 3, 2019, 07:24:28 AM PDT, <lindaz wrote:
>slow players
>Hi Tom,
>Regarding the 7/28 email I have three more suggestions to handle slow players. (1). Make sure new players read your column # 725 about Charleston strategy and how to pick a hand. (2) During the game if someone takes a long time making a decision, ask "whose turn is it?" Sometimes this will nudge a slow player to speed up! (3) I tell students "you don't have to make a final decision until you run out of discards". Hope this helps!
>Linda
Good morning, Linda.
Oh, you mean the updated Four Steps strategy.
I usually pay close attention to the game's progress. If I know whose turn it is, I don't like to feign ignorance. But I get the point; by asking whose turn it is, you're forcing the slow player to admit she's taking too long. I've seen that make the slow player become defensively angry. Personally, I only ask whose turn it is if I've genuinely forgotten.
I think this advice needs more explanation. I guess you're talking about unadvisedly agonizing over defensive play with those extra unneeded tiles in the hand, when the bigger need is to keep the game flowing by working towards a hand.
Slow players are a fact of mah-jongg life. As a fellow teacher, you likely have more patience with slow players (I know I do). We were all slow once.
May the tiles be with you.
Tom Sloper
Author of the
Sloper On Mah-Jongg column and
the Mah-Jongg FAQs -- donations appreciated.
Author of "The Red Dragon & The West Wind," the definitive book on Mah-Jongg East & West.
August 3, 2019
Los Angeles, California, USA
Haven't ordered the 2008 NMJL card yet? Read FAQ 7i.
Need rules for American mah-jongg? Tom Sloper's book, The Red Dragon & The West Wind, is the most comprehensive book in existence about the American game. AND see FAQ 19 for fine points of the American rules (and commonly misunderstood rules). AND get the official rulebook from the NMJL (see FAQ 3).
Watch the video by Jay Firestone of the Jewish Journal of Greater Los Angeles, about a young man (himself) learning to play American mah-jongg. You can see it at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ob5acSxD6PE.
© 2008 Tom Sloper. All rights reserved.