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WEEKLY MAHJONG

By Tom Sloper (湯姆 斯洛珀)
March 15, The Year Of The Ox 牛 (until February 14, 2010, then it'll be the year of the Tiger)
Column #397

And now for something completely different. When I created the computer game Shanghai: Second Dynasty, I collected numerous wise sayings from the great Chinese philosopher, Kong Few Shun, for use in the game as rewards for winning a game of Shanghai. Kong Few Shun's wise sayings weren't seen by those who played actual mah-jongg. And the game has been out of print for almost a decade. It would be a shame if Kong Few Shun's wisdom was lost forever. So herewith, a small sampling.

  • "Man with plan achieve everything."
  • "Anyone who makes a blanket statement is a fool."
  • "Do not mess with dragons, because you are crunchy and taste good with soy sauce."
  • "If you cannot say something nice, at least say something vague."
  • "Humankind is inscrutable. Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars, and he will believe you. But tell him a bench has wet paint, and he has to touch it."
  • "Few women admit their age. But even fewer men act it."
  • "Dates in calendar are closer than they appear."
  • "We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then it gets worse."
  • "Blessed are the meek, for they make great scapegoats."
  • "Angel with wings not so hot as angel with arms."
  • "Wise men learn much from fools. Wise guys do not."
  • "You cannot have everything. Where would you put it?"
  • "Make sure words touch wisdom tooth on way out of mouth."
  • "When everything is coming your way, you are in the wrong lane."
  • "The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese."
  • "Wisdom is not in knowing all the answers, but in knowing the right questions."
  • "Always remember, you are unique... just like everyone else."
  • "Those who live by the sword get shot by those who do not."
  • "A beautiful woman is a paradise to the eyes and a curse to the purse."
  • "To err is human; to forgive unlikely."
  • "It is not a problem to call someone stupid; but do not prove it."
  • "A day without sunshine is, like, night."
  • "On the other hand... you have different fingers."
  • "When the chips are down... the buffalo is empty."
  • "He who run behind bus get exhausted."
  • "Man who leap off cliff jump to conclusion."

    麻雀

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    © 2009 Tom Sloper. All rights reserved.